Fear of intimacy
Posted by oneclearmessage on February 28, 2010
letting the love in
If you develop real self esteem you will delight in someone you RESPECT getting close and seeing you.
If you have high self esteem, in other words you really like and value yourself, you want someone to get close to you and really see who you are. You, in fact, crave having someone you love, and respect see you – up close, and personal. Love, intimacy and caring from someone you respect, who sees who you are.
If you do not like yourself, have low self esteem, you will not let someone you RESPECT get close to you and see who you are. Your self esteem is your view of yourself. The weight you give to the bad you see in yourself vs the weight you give to the positive in you.If you do not like yourself you will either hold people at arms length … so they don’t get to close emotionally, or you will be attracted to the “bad” boy or girl.
If you allow a “bad” person, a “thug” in close, and they see you (the way you see yourself) and remark you are a “mess” it hurts but you can discount it as they are a mess too. But if you were to allow someone you RESPECT in close and they were to disapprove of you, it would be devastating.
Intimacy is a function of self esteem not gender or age. Your self esteem will determine your attraction and connection to others. If it is low, you will be more readily attracted to those who’s opinions you do not respect.
Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and Self-esteem training
Kisses as communication « Oneclearmessage's Blog said
[...] and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking, interpersonal relationships and Self-esteem [...]